Unmuffled Ramblings

I have always been optimistic about my views in life. I always look at setbacks as opportunity to learn and improve. Challenges have always motivated me to do better. I have always been aggressive both in sports and in business. I have never considered myself as a romantic. I have always been a practical person. Nothing has prepared me for what I am going through right now. I never thought that I would be so messed up as I am now. This writing thing has given me the opportunity to express myself in ways that I never done before. This online journal is like a friend who is tolerant with all my whining and ramblings.

I can churn like an engine with defective muffler without worrying about boring anyone. Although I know that this online journal can be potentially read by virtually anyone who is online, I really do not give a rat’s ass! Well, I guess, there are other more serious concerns than my divorce. But as for me this is more serious than Toyota Scion’s straight 16-month drop in sales. [Sigh] I do not know if it just coincidental that it has also been about 16 months ago since my wife and I became too intolerant about each other.

Our relationship had had its up and downs like the fluctuating temperature of an engine. But recently, the thermostat seemed not working very well. Three years of roller coaster marriage has now abruptly been stopped by circumstances that are beyond our control. Admittedly, the passion and love are still there. Otherwise, I will not be so depressed as I am now.

Total Wreck

I have never considered myself as a writer and I never had any real interest about writing. It is ironic for me to write an online journal. However, heeding my shrink’s advice, I have decided to write this blog as a therapeutic outlet for my stress. Recently, I have been too grumpy at work. I have been easily irritated with the minor mistakes of my employees. Well, I am now going through a rough divorce settlement. Emotionally, I am like an overheated engine ready to explode.

I always felt that I was in control of my life. But now, I have realized that I was wrong. Unlike car racing, maneuvering through life takes more than good reflex reactions. I have been always fond of cars. I particularly like tinkering with the engine. My father was a mechanic and I guess I have inherited his skills. As a teenager, my father bought me my first car. It was a second hand, rag-tag car but it was the greatest car that I ever had. That car took me not only to places but also helped me chase my dreams.

I now own a chain of auto shops, specializing in automobile customization. Although two of my eight shops have been closed due to economic recession, I still manage to earn decent enough income to sustain my passion for extreme sports such as skydiving and car racing. I always loved the adrenalin rush. It was in my skydiving club that I met my wife. We were jump partners that gradually developed into something more. The adrenalin rush triggered by my passion for my wife is more addicting than jumping from a plane. It is more powerful than a turbocharger. But I guess, some things are really not meant to be. If I was a car, I am now a total wreck.